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Let the child learn to solve 8 problems of the problem
From;    Author:Stand originally

In the child's grown process, be unavoidable to be able to encounter all sorts of problems. Do not want rapid move to have a hand in at this moment as the parent, can ask the child 8 questions first, listen to them to have what idea. And often do not ask a few the question, thing already very clear get settlement. The parent mights as well can try.


The first problem is: "What thing to produce? " this problem looks ordinary, but very important. When a lot of adults encounter sudden situation, can chronic too fast reason: "It is you hit him first certainly, he just can hit you. " " it is your err thing certainly, the teacher just can punish you. " the course that if we do not let the child,says a thing from his angle, treat unjustly the child probably. Besides, make the child organic can talk, although be his fault really, he also can be himself to explain because of organic meeting and acknowledge a mistake readily quite.


The 2nd problem is: "Your feeling how? " its course is objective fact, the concussion that gets in party heart is pure it is subjective feeling like that, be indifferent to dispute to the fault. A lot of moment, we just need to experience our speak out just. Once speak out, cry, scold, the mood is met a lot of. Cerebral science considers to make clear, when one individual sentiment is strong, explicit stimulation is absorbed not easily by cerebral ministry. That is to say, when a person still has a sentiment, people says whats he meets inexorable go. Always want when his mood calm, just think possibly calmly. If we hope the child can listen,go in so our opinion, we manage together first with respect to need his feeling, the mood that lets him has an export.


After the child is quite sober, can ask him the 3rd question: "How do you want? " at this moment no matter the child speaks the language with breathtaking what, do not want rapid move to teach him a lesson first, catch calmly however ask him the 4th question: "Do you feel to some of what idea there is then? "Do you feel to some of what idea there is then??


In this phase, might as well become mental rage together with the child, miss all sorts of key point, reasonable, unreasonable, absurd, funny, disgusting, babyish... the think of a way that allows any seeing of mental agitate to be like unfounded namely mainly. What to hear no matter at that time, do not make criticism or judgement temporarily.


When when also wanting to give any idea again, can ask him the 5th question: "How is the consequence of these methods met? " let him child one by one postmortem, what is the sequential meeting of every method? You may very the discovery of be surprised different, major child understands its consequence. If his acknowledge has difference, can discuss well with him at that time, let him understand actual fact. This is kiss very well child communication opportunity, but should avoid to preach, it is OK to should state a fact only.
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